It all started as a painful recognition after pushing unconsciously away the man I was falling in love with
“I wish… I wish reality was different inside of me… I wish I was not so hungry for love that blind me to see you I wish I was strong enough to stay centered while in the distance I wish I was vulnerable enough…” bla bla bla
I wish I was more of this; I wish I was more of that.
I wish I was… but I cannot change the past, just let it go; I am who I am, a work in progress, and it’s ok. Human love is imperfect anyways.
At least now I am clear of what is to be loved and healed inside of me, to go on with my life keeping my heart open and embrace a new reality, to truly, imperfectly fall in love again.
Because now that I am aware of who I wasn’t, without judgement but compassion, I can recreate my reality. And to do so I need to say this mantra as if it already IS my reality, until it becomes.
Just a warning, before I share it with you; if you happen to read these words and some make you cry as I do, don’t let it stop you. Let your tears release the past, the doubts, the fears, the aloneness, the victimhood. Embrace the part of yourself that still feels the lack of it, tap and kiss your shoulder, say warmly; “It’s ok”, and keep reading, one sentence at a time, to breathe in deeply, the reality we all deserve to live in.
So here we go, my new mantra, dedicated to embrace our feminine souls when falling in love:
“Every day I take care of myself to ease my hunger for love and have my heart open to see you and connect with your heart when we are together
I am strong enough to stay centered while in the distance
I am vulnerable enough to keep sharing you my truth without expectations
I am patient enough to trust that falling in love has its own timing
I have enough self-control to embrace silence and lean back to enjoying my life, giving you space to step up
I am secure enough to drown out my fears and let things between us flow like a river
I am innocent enough to listen to my heart and act upon its guidance no matter what
I am self-sufficient enough to need you in my life without becoming needy
I am brave enough to set myself free by loving you freely
I love myself enough to stop searching aimlessly in you for the love I am
I am certain enough of my worth to not be claiming the reassurance of your love
I am confident enough to need do no-thing to have your love but being warmly open to receiving your love
I am already enough to deserve to be loved as wholly as I love me, and I love you
I am grateful enough to be alive and serve this world with my gifts even if we find out that after all we weren’t meant to be”
And to end on a promising note for those of us who are still looking for our loved one, let’s always remember the words of Karen Salmanshon:
“At your absolute best you still won’t be enough for the wrong person At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.”
After all, the person we are looking for is also looking for us with the same warm desire. Together or not, our hearts are already connected. Let's clear out the blocks inside of us to let love in, relax, and enjoy the ride. Love is always in the air and blossoms through our open hearts!